Being an introvert is like being a tortilla. We look simple and straight forward, but really we are deep and complex. Plus, we somehow end up holding everything together in this great big burrito world. Don’t worry, I really am going somewhere here.
I don’t think I called myself an introvert until I was 25. I didn’t really have a good perspective on how I looked to others, or what I wanted to be growing up. As I’ve said before in previous posts, I grew up in a bubble. A beautiful bubble where life was simple, home was small and I never wanted for more than the 5 channels of television we had. I spent my days deep in thought. From the thoughts of life as I’d sit in my yard trying to be so still a bee would sit on me thinking I was a flower (not my best idea) to the thoughts of what Barbie did to afford her dream house and why she had so many clothes and yet the smallest closet imaginable.
Introvert and extrovert weren’t words I thought of to describe people, even in high school when we had English lessons about the two. As adulthood set on, I noticed I wasn’t growing out of what I thought might have just been childhood shyness. Ridiculous as it may sound, going to birthday parties my kids were invited to frightened me and I had to do a lot of positive self-talk to get myself there with a smile. I’m convinced I’ve had the pleasure of being surrounded by the kindest people to walk this earth, so what was wrong with me that made me want to shove my hands deep into my arms pits and back into a corner when at events? At home I was fine. At church I was fine. Those were my safe places.
Once I came to terms with this “introverted” self, it was like wearing a hat I didn’t like. I understood myself much better, but I couldn’t imagine living the rest of my life backed into a corner at the trampoline park hoping to God I remembered deodorant this morning in case someone tried to approach my sad state of self.
I made it my mission to become who I wanted to be, not what a definition said I was. I began researching introverts, who they were, what they were like, and ultimately hoping to find someone who had overcome it. Then it happened. I found them. My people. Introverts who WANTED to be friendly, be around people, and strove to work past their timid self to have that conversation with Susie at the snack table of their own kid’s birthday party. I was elated.
I know what you’re thinking. How did they do it? How does an introvert learn to like being around the masses, enjoy social settings, and not settle for a face that looks as if they’d rather be anywhere but where they are right now? I’ll tell you. Introverts are like tortillas.
Pressed down, shaken and put under a little heat is an incredible gift for introverts. When an introvert allows for a little pressure, that friend who comes over to try to strike up a conversation with you while you’re backed into a corner for example, it is GOOD. Let friends in. It won’t be easy. In fact if I’m really, truly honest, it’s the opposite of easy. Letting myself talk to people in social settings is akin to eating an apple with a straw. It feels impossible, awkward, and uncomfortable. Your mind races with excuses to walk away. Your heart pounds and all you want to do is go home and hide under the covers for the unforeseeable future. Don’t. Resist the urge to turn away from people.
Start small. Pick a few people who have tried to reach out to you, who genuinely seem to care about you. Let them in! My biggest struggles have turned into my biggest victories with this method. See, introverts are amazing. They are the best listeners and want to have that hour long coffee date with you. The problem is the big settings, the events and public activities. Don’t even get me started on why it’s horrifying to see someone you know in a grocery store.
We also don’t trust easily, and tend to require a resume, 5 years of experience as a good friend and solid references before deciding to invest in you. I’m really working on that part. Introverts hold stuff for you. Pour your troubles, sorrows and hurt into a conversation with an introvert and you’ll feel like a new person. Full of life and ready to move on. Us introverts need to learn to let go though, and only hold on to other’s junk momentarily.
See, I was right. Introverts are legit like tortillas. And I love tortillas. At the age of 30, I feel like introverts and extroverts were both put on this planet for a reason, and I don’t want anyone to feel like I did, like they just received a death sentence of turmoil and sweaty palms the rest of their lives. Introverts and extroverts can still grow, become more than what the standards tell them.
I want to give you something. More than this bomb grain free tortilla recipe. You’re welcome by the way. I want to give you friendship, and the tools to grow. If you’re new around here, please please please don’t be a stranger. I’m a real person behind these words on your screen. Reach out, talk and connect. If you’re a mamma, I have a special group just for you. A place to find your tribe and laugh a little and the things you find yourself doing from sun up to sun down.
Check it out, you won’t be sorry. Click the image below to go directly to Sweetest Moms!
And here’s those tortillas you’ve been waiting for. Plus, here’s where I got my tortilla press. I use it to make homemade wonton wrappers too!